Dear Friends,
Death is always difficult. Yet, it is especially difficult when death occurs far away, and one has to travel to be with family or friends. When my mother died, we were living on the east coast, and we flew to California to visit as she was dying, and then a few weeks later for the burial. Sadly, I missed being present to bid my mother a complete farewell.
All death is hard, but when someone dies there, not here, it is especially difficult.
Such is the case in this week’s Torah portion, Chukkat. We read of the death of Miriam, sister of Moses and Aaron. “The Israelites arrived at the wilderness of Zin… Miriam died there and was buried there.” (Numbers 20:1)
Interestingly, the verse twice includes the word, “there.” Surely, the verse would be just as sensible if “there” was written once, and not repeated.
Why is the word written twice? The Talmud (Moed Katan 28a) explains that this teaches that Miriam was buried right where she died, reinforcing the injunction of timely burial. This understanding held for nearly two thousand years, from antiquity through shtetl times when we mostly lived and died in the same locale or region. The twofold “there” certainly served for earlier days, before our present, mobile society, and the development of our modern funereal profession.
Presently, however, unlike with Miriam, often one is not buried at the place of one’s death. Burial plots may have been purchased elsewhere, in a city where the family earlier had lived, for instance. Thus, today, we might understand the dual use of “there” in the exact opposite way of the Talmud. The first “there” could represent the place of death, and the second “there” the place of burial. Surely, it would be easier for families, friends and communities if they were the same, but such often is no longer the case.
Today, we need to find ways to manage the many “there’s” of our lives. Not only ought families plan ahead, but so, too, communities, like our TBJ community and its many distant members, should be prepared for such eventualities. Our community endeavors to provide support for families whose extended kin may live distantly. We add our voices to those of others in reciting the Kaddish, or we recite the Kaddish over the deceased when there are no local family to do so.
Living in our Jewish world, we need to face the challenges of “there.”
Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Douglas Kohn
Death is always difficult. Yet, it is especially difficult when death occurs far away, and one has to travel to be with family or friends. When my mother died, we were living on the east coast, and we flew to California to visit as she was dying, and then a few weeks later for the burial. Sadly, I missed being present to bid my mother a complete farewell.
All death is hard, but when someone dies there, not here, it is especially difficult.
Such is the case in this week’s Torah portion, Chukkat. We read of the death of Miriam, sister of Moses and Aaron. “The Israelites arrived at the wilderness of Zin… Miriam died there and was buried there.” (Numbers 20:1)
Interestingly, the verse twice includes the word, “there.” Surely, the verse would be just as sensible if “there” was written once, and not repeated.
Why is the word written twice? The Talmud (Moed Katan 28a) explains that this teaches that Miriam was buried right where she died, reinforcing the injunction of timely burial. This understanding held for nearly two thousand years, from antiquity through shtetl times when we mostly lived and died in the same locale or region. The twofold “there” certainly served for earlier days, before our present, mobile society, and the development of our modern funereal profession.
Presently, however, unlike with Miriam, often one is not buried at the place of one’s death. Burial plots may have been purchased elsewhere, in a city where the family earlier had lived, for instance. Thus, today, we might understand the dual use of “there” in the exact opposite way of the Talmud. The first “there” could represent the place of death, and the second “there” the place of burial. Surely, it would be easier for families, friends and communities if they were the same, but such often is no longer the case.
Today, we need to find ways to manage the many “there’s” of our lives. Not only ought families plan ahead, but so, too, communities, like our TBJ community and its many distant members, should be prepared for such eventualities. Our community endeavors to provide support for families whose extended kin may live distantly. We add our voices to those of others in reciting the Kaddish, or we recite the Kaddish over the deceased when there are no local family to do so.
Living in our Jewish world, we need to face the challenges of “there.”
Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Douglas Kohn