Dear Friends,
"Bury me with my ancestors." (Genesis 49:29) So Jacob told his sons as he was on the verge of death.Jacob was in Egypt, where he and his family had resettled during the famine, but he charged his twelve sons to bring him back to Canaan for eventual burial—to Hebron, where the family plot, which Abraham had bought generations earlier, was located.
Indeed, it is not an uncommon request. When a death is imminent, family members must prepare burial or memorial plans, and key to many of those plans and preparations is consideration of where to place their loved one, including the possibility of being alongside family from generations past.
It is odd. In death, we imagine that there is little interaction among those who are buried for all eternity.The interactions are between those above and the remaining family and mourners who come to visit, who place stones on markers and offer prayers by the graves. Yet, proximity and connection to those interred nearby bear remarkably powerful importance.
I have seen this when I have meandered among cemeteries. (It is a rabbinic pastime!) There are rows in many cemeteries, including our own amazing TBJ cemeteries, where the names of related family members stand stone after stone.How comforting it must be, I think, for mourners to come and see generations—sometimes parents, grandparents, great-grandparents, cousins, and more—all together. This was Jacob’s request, as buried in the Cave of Machpelah in Hebron were his grandparents, Abraham and Sarah, and his parents, Isaac and Rebekah. Eventually, at least his son, Joseph, would be buried there too, as the Torah recounts that Moses brought Joseph’s bones back with the Israelites centuries later.
In our day, when many of us have family scattered all about, sometimes we only come together for family events, especially funerals. At those times, it is comforting when generations are indeed buried nearby. Each can be remembered, and more stories are told. Furthermore, for many people who have family scattered all over the place, such as myself, there are family members buried in faraway places. My grandparents are buried near Fort Lauderdale, my mother near San Jose, CA, and uncles, aunts, and cousins are buried in New Jersey. Thus, sometimes there is an abiding loneliness to the experience of visiting graves rather than the sense of coming back together with one’s ancestors, as Jacob implored.
"Bury me with my ancestors." Jacob was not only giving his sons a simple direction as to his burial wishes. Rather, he was teaching an abiding lesson and instructing the people of Israel for all eternity.
Shabbat Shalom and best wishes for a healthy 2023!
Rabbi Douglas Kohn
"Bury me with my ancestors." (Genesis 49:29) So Jacob told his sons as he was on the verge of death.Jacob was in Egypt, where he and his family had resettled during the famine, but he charged his twelve sons to bring him back to Canaan for eventual burial—to Hebron, where the family plot, which Abraham had bought generations earlier, was located.
Indeed, it is not an uncommon request. When a death is imminent, family members must prepare burial or memorial plans, and key to many of those plans and preparations is consideration of where to place their loved one, including the possibility of being alongside family from generations past.
It is odd. In death, we imagine that there is little interaction among those who are buried for all eternity.The interactions are between those above and the remaining family and mourners who come to visit, who place stones on markers and offer prayers by the graves. Yet, proximity and connection to those interred nearby bear remarkably powerful importance.
I have seen this when I have meandered among cemeteries. (It is a rabbinic pastime!) There are rows in many cemeteries, including our own amazing TBJ cemeteries, where the names of related family members stand stone after stone.How comforting it must be, I think, for mourners to come and see generations—sometimes parents, grandparents, great-grandparents, cousins, and more—all together. This was Jacob’s request, as buried in the Cave of Machpelah in Hebron were his grandparents, Abraham and Sarah, and his parents, Isaac and Rebekah. Eventually, at least his son, Joseph, would be buried there too, as the Torah recounts that Moses brought Joseph’s bones back with the Israelites centuries later.
In our day, when many of us have family scattered all about, sometimes we only come together for family events, especially funerals. At those times, it is comforting when generations are indeed buried nearby. Each can be remembered, and more stories are told. Furthermore, for many people who have family scattered all over the place, such as myself, there are family members buried in faraway places. My grandparents are buried near Fort Lauderdale, my mother near San Jose, CA, and uncles, aunts, and cousins are buried in New Jersey. Thus, sometimes there is an abiding loneliness to the experience of visiting graves rather than the sense of coming back together with one’s ancestors, as Jacob implored.
"Bury me with my ancestors." Jacob was not only giving his sons a simple direction as to his burial wishes. Rather, he was teaching an abiding lesson and instructing the people of Israel for all eternity.
Shabbat Shalom and best wishes for a healthy 2023!
Rabbi Douglas Kohn
