Dear Friends,
Attitude matters.
Sometimes, a person’s financial condition just becomes difficult. One may lack means, or will, to manage. For a period, one may need to come under the charge of another – a family member, a friend, a conservator.
When someone you know – a friend or family member – is down on their luck, do you find it easy to be compassionate, or do you incline toward judgement?
For some, generosity of spirit and magnanimity are natural. For others, these may be difficult to express; being critical, judgmental, or offering advice or direction is more their course. And, for the latter, it may seem more important and timely to offer redirection and tell the person who is in straits what they should have done better.
Torah advocates the former, rather than the latter, posture. It instructs regarding one’s attitude towards the suffering person whose situation has come under another’s temporary authority to treat him benignly: “You shall not rule over him ruthlessly; you shall fear your God.” (Leviticus 25:43)
Clearly, Torah sees the troubled person as enduring enough, already. He or she doesn’t need further castigation or belittling; their condition already has rendered that upon them. Though the conservator now bears a measure of power, and may look disdainfully on their new charge, that does not present them the privilege of denigrating the person further.
Rather, in demonstrating restraint, the conservator actually has the opportunity to rebuild the person’s esteem and will, and may even help teach the person new skills in personal and financial management. In fact, this is an opportunity to reverse a person’s course and empower the suffering person to eventual success.
Torah appears more concerned with the attitude and demeanor of the conservator, than the actual, mechanical services he or she may render. Anyone can pay another person’s bills; but will it be done with dignity, kindness and thoughtfulness, which will contribute to the other’s self-standing?
If bills are paid, but the person is demeaned, little is accomplished. However, if bills are paid and the person is elevated, then the world is made better.
Torah espouses the approach of kindness and dignity.
Attitude matters.
Shabbat Shalom, Rabbi Douglas Kohn
Attitude matters.
Sometimes, a person’s financial condition just becomes difficult. One may lack means, or will, to manage. For a period, one may need to come under the charge of another – a family member, a friend, a conservator.
When someone you know – a friend or family member – is down on their luck, do you find it easy to be compassionate, or do you incline toward judgement?
For some, generosity of spirit and magnanimity are natural. For others, these may be difficult to express; being critical, judgmental, or offering advice or direction is more their course. And, for the latter, it may seem more important and timely to offer redirection and tell the person who is in straits what they should have done better.
Torah advocates the former, rather than the latter, posture. It instructs regarding one’s attitude towards the suffering person whose situation has come under another’s temporary authority to treat him benignly: “You shall not rule over him ruthlessly; you shall fear your God.” (Leviticus 25:43)
Clearly, Torah sees the troubled person as enduring enough, already. He or she doesn’t need further castigation or belittling; their condition already has rendered that upon them. Though the conservator now bears a measure of power, and may look disdainfully on their new charge, that does not present them the privilege of denigrating the person further.
Rather, in demonstrating restraint, the conservator actually has the opportunity to rebuild the person’s esteem and will, and may even help teach the person new skills in personal and financial management. In fact, this is an opportunity to reverse a person’s course and empower the suffering person to eventual success.
Torah appears more concerned with the attitude and demeanor of the conservator, than the actual, mechanical services he or she may render. Anyone can pay another person’s bills; but will it be done with dignity, kindness and thoughtfulness, which will contribute to the other’s self-standing?
If bills are paid, but the person is demeaned, little is accomplished. However, if bills are paid and the person is elevated, then the world is made better.
Torah espouses the approach of kindness and dignity.
Attitude matters.
Shabbat Shalom, Rabbi Douglas Kohn
