Dear Friends, 

It is frustrating to sit in the restaurant, ready to order, but the server continues to just rush by.

It is tough to get that appointment if the call always goes to voicemail.
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And, it is difficult to follow-up with a family member, without picking up the phone.

The message is simple.  One must approach the other in order to have any hope of success in nearly every undertaking.  Only a hermit is successful living or working alone.  

Yet, approaching and connecting bears risks.  One could be rejected.  One could be hurt.  Moses approached Pharaoh more than half a dozen times before the Israelites were finally dispatched from Egypt.  Elsewhere, Jewish fable records that God approached a number of other peoples to offer them the Torah, before God encountered the Jewish people.  Approaching can be hazardous.

Yet, remaining aloof or alone leaves one… aloof or alone.   Approaching or drawing near, despite being potentially perilous, commonly is the necessary path to most accomplishments.

We note in this week’s Torah portion two compelling episodes of drawing near.   Joseph’s brothers, whom Jacob had sent to Egypt to procure provisions during the seven-year famine, had had a number of mixed encounters with their disguised brother, Joseph, who was then the vizier in Egypt.  Finally, after a few sessions with Joseph who demanded that they bring Benjamin, Joseph’s little brother, down to Egypt, the emotional climax occurs.  

Firstly, we read, “Judah now approached him and said…” (Genesis 44:18) Judah, one of the eldest siblings and among the connivers who had wronged Joseph years earlier, broke the ice and drew near to Joseph to explain their predicament. 

Thereafter, when Joseph was moved to tears by his brothers’ repentance, we read, “Joseph then went on to say to his brother, ‘Come, draw near to me!’ so they drew near.”  (Genesis 45:4)

In both cases, rapprochement only transpired because one brother demonstrated courage to demand attention and proximity.  Aloofness and fear were dissolved, and connection prevailed.  

It can be challenging and tricky – for all of us – myself included.  Yet, approaching and encountering the other is the elixir for many of life’s difficulties.  It may take either a moment of courage, or of swallowing pride, but, it works most often.

As we embark on the new year, 2025, perhaps we can set out to set out, and both undertake more approaching, and be more approachable, ourselves.  It works!

Shabbat Shalom, 
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Rabbi Douglas Kohn